Tonight while vision boarding, I came across a quote that got me thinking.
"The real you is sexy."
Often times I'm afraid to show people the real me… All of me, out of fear of being rejected.
Ever since I was a child, I've been multifaceted, very particular and very mature for my age. I didn't quite fit in with any specific cliques and I defied every stereotype. I'm not too sure why but it's always been hard for me to grasp the concept that I am not, was not created to be, nor will I ever be...average.
And I'm not gassing myself up by any means. But nothing about me is stereotypical of a 22-year-old.
I enjoy being alone.
I don't drink - except for heinous amounts of coffee.
Often times I find myself daydreaming about my life in the future. Who I am, my daily routine, what will be normal for me in a year from now, 2 years from now, even 15 years from now....
(Like when I'm 26 I see myself living in a high-rise alone. I still get my flowers every Tuesday. (Which I failed to purchase today. Smh) I take Pilates on Thursdays and I watch the food network faithfully and try to recreate the meals as I watch the 30 minute episodes of Barefoot Contessa and Rachel Ray. )
You know, stuff like that. And after having conversations with new people that I meet, I've found that other 22 year olds don't think about those things.
And when they ask me what I like to do for fun,
"Sit in my bed wearing non-prescription glasses and ironed pajamas, while reading books about how to better myself while drinking English Breakfast tea", seemingly rolls off my tongue as if someone asked my name.
- I have friends, but I keep my circle small.
- I enjoy going out, but some days I'd rather stay in.
- Though I'm really talkative, some days I can go the whole day without saying a single word and be perfectly fine.
- I only wear black under garments.
- My closet consists of only black, white grays and neutral tones.
- I only like my nails white, nude or shell pink. And they have to be short and square.
- I collect stationery sets.
- And sometimes when I'm bored I take trips to Target and only speak Spanish when I come into contact with people.
I'm just different and I'm becoming okay with that.
This is me.
The real me.
And there are people who love, appreciate, and value me, matter how peculiar I may live my life.
So to the people who call me old and/or boring, not having a life; or the people who may feel the same way I do... Know that it's okay. Be you. The real you. Because someone, Somewhere finds it attractive; sexy.