A week ago yesterday I turned 24 and man do I feel different. As soon as the clock struck 12am, there I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror asking myself "Who am I?", "What am I doing?", "What have I done?" and "How did I get here?". It was one of those moments where my life flashed before my eyes and I was overcome with emotion because to some of the questions, the answers weren't what I said I wanted at 24. And though I've been blessed to do and accomplish things that people say they dream of doing, I felt inadequate and in need to get back to the basics. Starting from the inside, out. 

Years ago a good friend of mine and his best friend started a clothing line called Heart of XXiV. Their tag line; "When your heart is gold, you're forever rich." I remember being in highschool and him explaining to me that 24 karats is the purest form of gold. I had forgotten all about the story so this week I decided to research gold and how it’s made pure. The results? Me finding myself in the process.

When gold is being purified it goes through a 3 step process. 

1. The Breaking for Inspection (Jeremiah 23:29)

In biblical times, rough ore (a rock basically) is broken down to expose and separate the valuable composites versus what’s worthless. 

2. The Furnace for Refining (Proverbs 17:3)

The refiner then places the broken bits into a furnace to rid of other metals that would mar the quality of the gold. Doing so, unforeseen impurities rise to the surface and are skimmed off the top. Certain impurities are only revealed at certain tempuratures this process can be done up to seven times.

3. The Purification for Reflection (Job 23:10) 

The refiner gauges the purity by how clearly he can see himself in the gold. Once he can see his reflection clearly, the process is complete.

The season that I’m in is doing just that.

Earlier this year I was broken down to literally nothing and separated from everything and everyone I held on to thinking it was what I needed.  This summer I entered the fire and impurities have been rising to the surface. And my goodness, some of the things that have been revealed have not been pretty; anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, haughtiness, the list goes on and on.

How befitting that on my 24th birthday, issues of the heart is what I need to work on. Learning about how gold is made pure revealed to me that I’m not done yet. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So excuse me for being distant. I've been doing a heart check. And it was actually prompted several months ago.  The goal? To be rich in spirit, a thoroughly cleansed character and a pure heart..... 24k.